A Vicious Kind
by Sweedledome
Summary: A look into the whole Marjolaine situation and what grows between the Warden and Leliana as a result. Currently a one shot but there are plans for a collection of stories focusing on a Leliana/F!Cousland relationship.


A Vicious Kind

So a little while ago my best friend got me tickets to see one of my favourite bands, Yellowcard, on their UK tour and since then i've found that several of their songs have given me inspiration for stories. I've started off with this one because it just seemed to fit so well with the whole Marjolaine theme and it was the first idea I had. Here is my question, should I leave this as a one shot or do a brief series of chapters all inspired by those songs to follow a theme? It won't be chronological and will dip in and out of the arc at random times but...yeah, worth continuing? Let me know =)**  
**The song, as you may have guessed, is 'A Vicious Kind' by Yellowcard. As always, feedback is most definitely appreciated and I own nothing...though I really wish I had a Mabari...

_Let me say this first, I was on your side,_

_Before the war began_

"She will use you. You look at her and see a simple girl, a friend, trusting and warm. It is an act."

Three days later and those words still echoed in Leliana's head, persistent and unforgettable. It shocked her that Marjolaine could think that way, that everything had to be deception or a lie. In Marjolaine's world there could be no room for trust or loyalty simply out of affection for another; it had to be part of a subtle plot to achieve something for one's self. It made Leliana feel like she had just swallowed a large piece of lemon to think of how dedicated she used to be, how attentive she was to Marjolaine's every whim because she believed that Marjolaine trusted her, loved her.

She backed Marjolaine in everything she did, stood by her side even in the rare occurrences she felt Marjolaine had gone a step too far but _still_ she had thought that Leliana would betray her. In a way Leliana felt sorry for her, to be so twisted inside that the idea of trusting another was completely alien to Marjolaine. That is why she could never love Leliana the way Leliana always believed she had loved Marjolaine for without trust, there cannot be love. Leliana sighed as she listened to Zevran and Alistair bicker again

"Oh come one! Just a pinch of spice! Liven things up a bit eh?"

"No. It's a traditional Fereldan stew. It's supposed to taste that way."

"Taste? My dear man, the word 'taste' cannot be associated with that...concoction."

"Ugh. Fine, I give up. Have a go then!"

"Ah, splendid. I promise you, my good man, you won't regret it!"

"Why do I get the feeling this was a really bad decision?"

There. Right there. That was trust. It may seem small but for Alistair to trust an Antivan Crow contracted to kill them to add mysterious spices to their food...it spoke volumes. Alistair had never been particularly enamored of Zevran, even now he glared at the elf who was pleasantly humming as he chucked various herbs and spices into the mix, yet in that one act, Alistair showed more faith in Zevran than Marjolaine had ever shown in Leliana. That wasn't right was it? That two people partaking in a tenuous friendship forced on them by circumstance held more trust and mutual respect than a several year "relationship" ever had. Marjolaine had betrayed her for the simple reason that she expected Leliana to do the same, that was no reason to do what she did.

_My gloves came off when the ring went_

_On and on and on_

Even then, once Leliana was free of the Orlesian authorities, she had never sought retribution. She had never felt the need to chase Marjolaine down and exact her revenge. She simply...moved on, as best she could, not looked back at that dark time in her life. That was until Marjolaine's assassins came for her. Leliana was stunned by the revelation that after all those years of inaction on her part, Marjolaine still believed her a threat. That was when she had decided, no more. No more would she live in Marjolaine's shadow. No more would she allow herself to be hunted by her past. Marjolaine had to be confronted or she would never be free from this. She needed to be able to move on or she would never get to...better things.

As her gaze swept across the camp she found it drawn to where Elissa sat cross legged with her swords balanced across her knees, eyes twinkling as she chuckled at the antics of Alistair and Zevran (What have you done?! It's orange! Food shouldn't be orange! It's supposed to be grey!) Although Leliana found the Warden's feelings impossibly frustrating to read, she knew that her affection for Elissa went far beyond the normal boundaries of friendship. Whether or not those feelings might one day be reciprocated was irrelevant, it was in the moment that Elissa had had her arm sliced open by one of Marjolaine's mercenaries that Leliana knew she would not let Marjolaine threaten that which she now held most dear and so, it was with no small amount of trepidation that she entered that house in Denerim...

**DAODAODAO**

_You can tune me out, you can turn me down_

_And try to cut me off_

"Do you know why you were a master manipulator Leliana? It is because you enjoyed the game; you reveled in the power it gave you, you cannot change or deny this."

Leliana's breath caught in her throat as Marjolaine announced her worst fears, her cruel words cutting off Leliana's thought process. She _couldn't_ deny it, she had enjoyed the game, not the killing of course, but the triumph of manipulating someone, having them so far under your spell they didn't even realise anything was wrong until you drew a blade across their throat. Leliana still didn't know how she did that, after all these years Marjolaine was still perfectly capable of creeping into her thoughts and using her own insecurities to battle her down. She stood struck dumb as Marjolaine raised a haughty eyebrow at Leliana's silence, opening her mouth to continue the verbal onslaught...but she never got there.

_But you will not stop me singing_

_on and on and on._

"I trust Leliana, no matter what you say". Spoken in a steady, clear voice, simmering with barely repressed rage, Elissa Cousland met Marjolaine's stare with a fierce look of her own. Marjolaine blinked not quite comprehending what had just happened and like that the spell was broken with a new one taking its place. This one wasn't like Marjolaine's though, no. It was Elissa's unwavering faith in Leliana, it was designed to lift her up, help her and allow her to face Marjolaine head on. Leliana felt herself being filled with a new sense of purpose that would not be ignored. Briefly glancing at Elissa, she muttered a brief "thank you" that didn't even begin to cover what Elissa had just done for her. The time to talk about such things could wait until she was done with Marjolaine, once and for all.

"You will not threaten me or my friends again, Marjolaine. I want you out of my life, forever." The strength in her voice surprised Leliana, having an assertive nature in Marjolaine's presence was a new feeling, the definitely not an unwelcome one. The satisfied feeling drained as Elissa voiced a concern Leliana knew she could not ignore.

"You know she will hound you as long as she lives."

_For a while you danced with us and_

_We were on a roll,_

_But the beat kept getting faster_

_And you lost control_

So the deciding moment had come, it surprised her that she already knew what she was going to do, she had known for a long time but was unwilling to admit it to herself, blinded by the memories of happier times with Sketch and Tug. They had been an effective team, their combined love of mischief and manipulating the Orlesian nobles creating a sense of camaraderie between the three. They were the chosen three, the ones Marjolaine had picked to follow her, the best of the best, nothing could separate them or break the bond they found with their mentor...apart from their mentor turning into a backstabbing bitch who sold them all out because Leliana had expressed a concern for her life. The first hint, the slightest sign that her pupils would not follow completely without question and Marjolaine had condemned them all to torture at the hands of the Orlesian guards.

_I want you to know I'm not sorry at all_

_You can't buy forgiveness, or blame me for the fall_

As Marjolaine spat out her last threat, Leliana saw Elissa lunge with a fury she hadn't seen since a merchant had kicked a whimpering Angus begging for scraps at the market place. Although being compared to a dog didn't exactly sit well with Leliana, there was no denying Elissa's love for that stinky fuzzball knew no bounds...Leliana could live with the idea of being held in the same esteem. Facing an annoyed Elissa in battle was a terrifying prospect but Leliana could not bring herself to feel even the slightest bit of sympathy for the woman now facing her wrath. Marjolaine had brought this all on herself, there was no way to blame anyone else for what she now faced.

_All I ever wanted was for us to beat the odds_

_I thought we were lucky ones, but all your luck is gone_

As she fired arrows at her former lover's guards, Leliana could not help but think back to the naive girl that had followed Marjolaine around. The girl whose biggest worry was that, in a world of subterfuge and lies, she and Marjolaine could be separated by odds heavily stacked against them. They survived together for so long Leliana began to think they had luck beyond normal for those holding the profession of a bard. Well, the way Elissa was now running round the room after a fleeing Marjolaine suggested that luck had now run out Leliana thought to herself with a sense of smug confidence. She should have known it was too easy...

_You're a vicious kind coz you've lived this life_

_Where you're allowed to win_

A quick scan of the room revealed all her hired soldiers had been dispatched, dropping to the floor, Marjolaine extended a leg as an approaching Elissa found herself with too much momentum to stop before Marjolaine's foot hit her knee with a sickening 'crack'. Elissa tumbled to the floor as Marjolaine dived out of the way, when she righted herself a dripping stiletto had made its way to her hand. Before Leliana could even blink Marjolaine drove the blade deep into the Warden's outstretched forearm right through to the floor below. The Warden let out a strangulated cry before she began to shudder and go still. Dropping her bow and arrow, Leliana ran to Elissa's side, checking for a reaction as Morrigan inspected the wound. Alistair stormed past to a laughing Marjolaine, holding his sword to her throat so she could not try anything...not that she was tempted to, she was just...laughing. An unnerved Alistair asked

"What? What's so funny? You think that's going to stop Elissa? She's done worse to herself tripping over a log into a sword pile."

"Ha-ha. Oh my dear, in the world of a bard, nothing is what it seems." Marjolaine continued to laugh as Alistair began to worry for his fellow Grey Warden.

"Leliana? Morrigan? What does she mean? What does she mean?!" But Leliana was sat motionless watching as Morrigan desperately tried to halt the advance of the black tendrils creeping out from the wound, up Elissa's arm, towards her heart.

"Poison" Leliana whispered, unable to detect any movement from the fallen rogue.

"But of course my dear, so you see? I may have lost but I still win. I always win. She will die and you will be alone in this world with no one to stop you becoming me."

_Even when you're wrong_

_You still keep on and on and on__  
_  
"Shut up."

"Oh! How rude. I thought I taught you better than that my darling"

"I am not your _anything"_

"But you are my dear. You may have fooled yourself into thinking you are hers now but you will always be mine, especially seeing as she is going to be dead in a matter of minutes"

"YOU'RE WRONG! She is not dead yet. She is not going to be dead. Stop saying she's going to be dead."

"Denial will get you nowhere my dear" Marjolaine chuckled. Morrigan looked up with a frown in her brow.

"I do hate to agree with the demented one but it appears I cannot do much to aid Elissa. She received too lethal an amount to for me to heal or for us to reach Wynne before it kills her". Marjolaine's incessant cackling as Morrigan spoke grated on Alistair's last nerve.

"Will you be quiet! I was raised never to hit a lady but Maker help me..."

"And here I thought I was in the presence of a gentleman. If you cannot handle a little ribbing, I suggest you, how do you Fereldan's say? Ah yes, 'suck it up". With that last comment Leliana's eyes widened, removing the stiletto from Elissa's arm, she dragged the limp appendage to her mouth and began sucking.

"What do you think you are doing?!" Alistar exclaimed at the sight of Leliana's odd behaviour. She drew her mouth away and spat out a black, oily substance.

"A trick Marjolaine taught me, it stops the spread of the poison." Leliana gasped before returning her mouth to the wound. Marjolaine's mouth twisted into an ugly grimace as Leliana kept removing whatever foul concoction Marjolaine had pumped into Elissa.

"Foolish girl! It will not work!" Leliana ignored her as Morrigan kept track of what Leliana was spitting out as it gradually faded from black to red. Alistair stared on with bated breath.

_So I think it's time that we said goodbye_

_Coz all your talent lies in the way you're always moving_

_On and on and on_

Finally Morrigan stopped Leliana.

"Tiz enough, she's losing blood now. We must return to camp quickly, I can heal her enough to keep her alive till we reach Wynne." Alistair quickly unhooked his water pouch and threw it to Leliana who immediately began gargling the water to clear her blood stained mouth. Marjolaine's face was contorted with rage in a way Leliana had never seen.

"You think this is over? I can assure you my dear it most definitely is not. I will make you watch as I des-" but Marjolaine never finished her sentence for as soon as her mouth was clear, Leliana had retrieved her bow and used in to sink an arrow between Marjolaine's eyes.

"Goodbye Marjolaine."

_I want you to know I'm not sorry at all_...

**DAODAODAO**

Elissa hadn't regained consciousness till the following evening and even then Wynne had confined her to bed rest. Tonight was her first night out of the tent since she had been stabbed and Leliana had never seen a more welcome sight than watching Elissa argue with Wynne, stating that sharpening one's sword was hardly a strenuous activity and that she had to do _something_. Watching her, Leliana couldn't believe how much Elissa just shrugged off, despite being unable to walk properly without stumbling from side to side with fatigue, Elissa was still thinking about how soon they could be back on their way or how soon she could at least be doing something productive. Right now she did seem content to relax and watch Alistair and Zevran squabble over what qualified as 'food' but Leliana knew she would be up and attempting to do something any minute now, she could see it in those bluey-grey eyes, twinkling with mischief at the prospect of winding Wynne up again.

Leliana could get lost in those eyes, they always seemed to change colour depending on Elissa's mood but they were always gorgeous and Leliana could stare at them all da-Maker! Elissa was coming over! Leliana panicked, she'd blatantly been staring quite...intently. Watching Elissa stumble and stagger her way over to her side, Leliana was gripped with a slight sense of panic at the thought that Elissa had caught her red handed. This was promptly squashed by concern as Elissa literally collapsed face first into the earth beside her.

"Maker! Are you alright?"

"Just fine" came the muffled response "I meant to do that, seemed like the most efficient way of getting down without having to bend my knee" Elissa groaned as she flipped herself over and used Leliana to haul herself up. Leliana chose not to object as Elissa continued to cling to her once she had righted herself.

"Mmmhmm" Leliana raised a disbelieving eyebrow.

"Oh shush, it made sense in my head."

"Well I hope you have a reason for giving Wynne another cause to coddle you back into your bedroll. Was there something you wanted to talk about?"

"Um, yeah, I'd like to talk about what happened with Marjolaine."

"It...it's nothing, i'm fine. Just...thinking..." Leliana confessed, unable to articulate herself properly with Elissa's chin propped on her shoulder to keep her upright. The proximity was quite...distracting...

"Well you're certainly less talkative than usual." Elissa remarked. Turning to look at her, Leliana noticed her eyes were currently blue with a tiny yellow ring around the pupil, Elissa was relaxed. Leliana sighed; she might as well get it off her chest. There's certainly no one she'd rather talk to than Elissa.

"I can't get what happened out of my head. I've been in Lothering for years and still she thought I was plotting against her? She didn't trust me, maybe she never did. She loved me when she could use me and control me. It...it hurts to know I never really knew her."

"Is there anything I can do?" Leliana chuckled lightly to herself. Always her first thought is how she can make things better. She's always looking to fix problems. Elissa never realised that simply by listening to her, paying attention, she was helping Leliana so much. Marjolaine had never listened to her. She had instructed and cut Leliana off from her 'ridiculous ramblings' many times without taking in a single word of what Leliana had said. Even the marks she had had to seduce for Marjolaine had never truly listened to her.

They knew to nod in all the right places and make interested noises but all they had really cared about is what other uses they could put her mouth to. It was never like that with Elissa, the first time Leliana had taken watch with Elissa she had talked more to herself than anything else as Elissa sat there in stony silence. The next time they had watch together Elissa had approached her with questions about what she had said and requested to hear more stories. Leliana had felt her heart swell for the first time that night at the sight of the Grey Warden and her enthusiasm. No matter how quiet she was being, Leliana always knew that, when she spoke, the Warden listened.

"You're already helping so much by listening to me. I knew she was ruthless but I didn't know how far she would go. She was self-serving, cruel...she used people then discarded them, but that's how she survived the kind of life she led." Leliana took a deep breath as she got to what had really been bothering her of late. "What if she's right? What if i'm like her? I should have just stayed in the Chantry."

"But you said the Maker wanted you to leave?" Elissa queried. Leliana felt a surge of affection for the Warden once more. Elissa was trying to reaffirm Leliana's faith, even though she held none of her own, she knew that it was important to Leliana and that was enough of a reason for her to respect it. There was no doubt that Elissa sometimes got annoyed with her when she spoke of the importance of the Maker in their lives but she was willing to accept that that was what Leliana felt...but was that even what Leliana felt anymore? She didn't know...

"I could have been wrong about the Maker! I...I know you doubt me sometimes. Maybe you're right! Maybe...maybe I just tell myself He's there to console myself. To know there's someone watching out for me! To know i'm not alone!" Leliana felt herself crossing her arms around her knees, hugging herself into a ball and forcing Elissa to remove her chin from her shoulder. The weight of what she had just admitted to herself came crashing down on Leliana. Was all her faith just a sign of desperate longing to be loved by someone? Anyone? After Marjolaine's betrayal it made sense that she would turn to the nearest loving thing for comfort. A single thumb brushing across her cheek startled her out of her revelry. Elissa gently held Leliana's face as she continued to stroke away tears Leliana hadn't even known she'd been crying.

"You are not alone Leliana. You are never alone, not while I still draw breath." Unable to face the sincerity in Elissa's eyes Leliana turned her head away once more.

"But I was alone...alone and desperate when I fled to Ferelden. I went to the only place I knew would take me. I forgot my life as a bard in the cloister. I felt safe; I didn't have to watch my back all the time. That's what made Marjolaine the person she was, don't you see? It ruined her and it will ruin me too." Elissa opened her mouth to cut Leliana off but Leliana continued talking, refusing to accept that she could ever be worthy of the way Elissa was looking at her now, not when she had clearly been corrupted by Marjolaine's taint. "What we're doing, what we've done, hunted men down...killed them, part of me loves it. It invigorates me and that scares me. I...I feel myself slipping."

"You are a good person. You always will be." There it was again, that voice, a clear, calm voice that spoke such sweet words as absolute fact. It was the exact opposite of Marjolaine's, Marjolaine's soft voice crept into her thoughts and destroyed her from the inside out. They made Leliana doubt herself to the very core of her being, made her see herself the way she had always feared, but that had not affected Elissa. Even when Marjolaine's words made Leliana begin to question truths about herself that she had always held dear, Elissa had not faltered. She believed in Leliana even when she could not and Leliana couldn't comprehend how she could believe in her so much.

"How can you be so sure?" Leliana's quiet voice drifted out into the night air, still refusing to meet Elissa's gaze. Suddenly Elissa's face appeared in front of her as she shuffled round so she was directly in Leliana's line of sight.

"Simple. Evil does not worry about being good." Unblinking eyes stared into Leliana's eyes as Elissa said this. It made Leliana's breath catch in her throat. Elissa was not known for her ability to lie; in fact she was astonishingly bad at it, so she made no attempt to do so. It was in some ways a flaw as the art of deception for the purposes of diplomacy would have come in useful many times if only to keep the peace in their merry little group, but after Elissa informed Leliana for the millionth time that "you look like a particularly nasty shade of death" or "you should probably have a bath, the fighting made you smell a bit" in the aftermath of a battle, Leliana came to understand that the rogue simply did not do half truths.

While that may sometimes be annoying or hurtful, it was in moments like these that she knew Elissa unashamedly believed every word she was saying, no exaggeration, no embellishments, just her thoughts, honest and true. It was certainly a welcome relief after the constant stream of lies and subtle put downs that escaped Marjolaine's mouth. No, there was no way anyone could ever associate Elissa with the word "subtle", not after she had called Cailan an 'over excitable egomaniac' on their first meeting...apparently he'd thought it was a compliment and no one had the heart to correct him.

"But i'm not sorry about killing Marjolaine, not at all!"

"And I wouldn't expect you to; the woman used you and betrayed you in the worst way imaginable. I think you'd have to be a living saint to not want some sort of retribution or even just to want to know that she was never going to bother you again. That doesn't make you evil, it makes you human and your desire to be a good one heavily suggests to me that you are not evil. You think Marjolaine ever worried that what she was doing was evil?"

"That...that is true. I can always count on you to show me a different perspective". Not just different, Leliana thought, a better one and then you have to ability to make me believe in it as strongly as you do. "Thank you" she muttered as the Warden resumed her place at Leliana's side. She wondered if Elissa knew how deeply she meant those words spoken so often in life, just what it was to her that they could talk about anything, everything and Leliana never felt like she was a burden. They settled into a comfortable silence as the Warden unsheathed one of her swords and began to polish it in an absent minded way. Leliana watched her hum under her breath as she busied herself, her dirty blonde her seeming to glow slightly by the light of the fire. Light strands fell down from her practical bun while she worked, framing her face very simply but giving it a lightly disheveled look that suited Elissa very very well. In that moment Leliana felt she was looking upon the very definition of beauty as the grimy surroundings faded away from her to leave only Elissa in her thoughts. Unable to help herself, Leliana gathered her courage to ask

"I...have I ever told you I really like the way you wear your hair?"

Further thought, if I do extend this beyond this one chapter my plan is to have the song inspiring each chapter as the title but sadly this leaves me with no title for the overall thing and I find myself at a loss for ideas...thoughts? =)


End file.
